S p o r t s A list of Terrell-able acts by Owens

San Francisco WR Terrell Owens will stop at nothing to attract attention. By Dave Stinton On Monday, October 14, San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Terrell Owens pulled one of the most outrageous post-touchdown stunts in NFL history. Upon scoring, he removed a Sharpie from his sock, autographed the football, and handed it to his financial planner in the stands. It raised a lot of eyebrows around the league, but it should be known that this is only the most recent in a long line of shameless showboating end zone antics for Owens. Let's take a look at his 2002 season, game-by-game. 8/19 (preseason, at Denver) Pulled easel and pad of paper from where they were hidden behind the goalpost, drew insulting caricature of cornerback Willie Middlebrooks, sent it to the New Yorker for publication. 8/25 (preseason, at Oakland) Leaped into the stands, began having loud sexual intercourse with the wife of Raiders coach Bill Callahan. 8/28 (preseason, vs. San Diego) Ran for presidency of local school board, gaining valuable political experience and beginning a climb up the ladder of public service. Years later, was elected commissioner of the NFL and began legislation to have the Chargers removed from the league. 9/5 (at New York Giants) Bought up all footage of the touchdown, thereby driving up the demand.Sold the footage back to the public at inflated prices. Used the proceeds to found the state-of-the-art "New York Giants are a Bunch of Wussy Candy-Asses Orphanage." 9/15 (vs. Denver) Quietly flipped the ball to the referee, walked back to the bench without any comment. The Broncos' defense found this especially infuriating, because they knew that he knew that they were expecting something really obnoxious. 10/6 (vs. St. Louis) Mimed commissioning an opera from composer John Corigliano immortalizing the touchdown pass. Began the next offensive drive wearing sequined evening dress and carrying opera glasses and a program. Dave Stinton covers the NFL for the Produce Section.