s c i e n c e b e a t The Doomsday Clock Explained By Dave Stinton

On February 27, 2002, the Board of Directors of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists moved the "Doomsday Clock" ahead two minutes, from nine to seven minutes before midnight. What does this mean? The Doomsday Clock was created a year and a half ago as a visual representation of how frustrated the Atomic Scientists were with their roommate Dennis. "Midnight" represents the moment at which the scientists will kick Dennis out. The clock was initially set at seven minutes to midnight, when the Atomic Scientists returned from playing racquetball to discover that Dennis still had not touched the dishes. Since then, the clock has moved forward and back, reflecting the scientists’ rage. 10/7/2000 – Seven minutes to midnight The clock first appears on the refrigerator as a symbol of exasperation. 10/28/2000 – Three minutes to midnight Dennis leaves the front door unlocked and the apartment unattended for the better part of the day. Tick... Tick... Tick... 12/15/2000 – Two minutes to midnight Twenty-five dollars is missing from the sock drawer of one of the scientists. The culprit, though never ascertained, is assumed to be Dennis. 2/11/2001 – Seven minutes to midnight Dennis begins dating Jenny Randall, whom the scientists agree is really hot. 3/10/2001 – Twelve minutes to midnight Daphne Randall, Jenny’s cute sister from St. Louis, moves in with her. Jenny and Daphne spend a lot of time hanging around at the apartment watching movies. 4/3/2001 – Seven minutes to midnight One of the scientists slams the door of the refrigerator too hard, accidentally knocking the minute hand five minutes forward. 4/7/2001 – Ten minutes to midnight The accident is realized, and the minute hand is set back to twelve minutes to midnight. However, Dennis, upon seeing the adjustment being made, asks, "When are you geeks going to take that damn thing down?" 5/1/2001 – Twelve minutes to midnight Dennis’ parents buy him a 27-inch TV/VCR, which replaces the 13-inch TV the scientists have been using. 5/12/2001 – Nine minutes to midnight Dennis and Jenny break up. 5/30/2001 – Seven minutes to midnight Dennis won’t stop talking about Jenny. 7/15/2001 – Four minutes to midnight It becomes apparent that Dennis is using the other scientists’ towels to dry himself after showers, then putting the towels back on the racks in the bathroom. The scientists take preventative measures by keeping their clean towels in their respective bedrooms. 8/20/2001 – Three minutes to midnight Dennis goes on a scented candle "kick" and places several around the kitchen. 8/31/2001 – Six minutes to midnight Dennis starts dating Melissa Graff and spends very little time in the apartment. The scientists are able to dispose of the scented candles, and Dennis doesn’t notice, or at least doesn’t mention anything about it. 10/12/2001 – Ten minutes to midnight Dennis discovers a way to rig the apartment building’s clothes dryers so they operate without quarters. 10/31/2001 – Seventeen minutes to midnight During a Halloween party at the apartment, drinks are at dangerously low levels. Dennis springs for a keg of beer. 11/1/2001 – Fourteen minutes to midnight The following morning, Dennis asks for the scientists to reimburse him for the keg. 1/10/2002 – Nine minutes to midnight Dennis and Melissa disregard the coasters and leave rings on the coffee table. 2/27/2002 – Seven minutes to midnight Dennis seeks to acquire and use nuclear and biological weapons.