s c i e n c e b e a t Everyday Science By Mike Powers

This isn't the way to come up with a theme restuarant We here at theproducesection.com have noticed recently that some complex scientific theories and terms have been simplified and introduced into the lexicon of common American English and that a second stage of inappropriate use, bending of definitions, and fudging of the theories has begun. Theproducesection.com provides this handy guide to the real definitions of the terms and theories, and exposure, explanation, and debunking of some of the common incorrect meanings and usages. Fusion – the union of atomic nuclei to form heavier nuclei resulting in the release of enormous quantities of energy when certain light elements unite Creating a theme restaurant where "the food is Chinese but the fun is Canadian" or any other such nonsensical combination is not fusion. While the elements that patronize these "fusion" establishments may actually experience a change to a heavier state, the definition also clearly states that fusion "results in the release of enormous quantities of energy." These places just suck – energy. Fission – the splitting of an atomic nucleus resulting in the release of large amounts of energy Fission can only occur on an atomic level. "Splitting a coconut" and "releasing large amounts of delicious milk for the freshest Pina Coladas you’ve ever had," really isn’t an appropriate use of the term, even if the Pina Coladas are "the bomb." Natural Selection – a natural process that results in the survival and reproductive success of individuals or groups best adjusted to their environment and that leads to the perpetuation of genetic qualities best suited to that particular environment In many cases, it’s presumed that "the cream will rise to the top" in certain situations, through natural selection. This theory is based on the assumption that the cream will be allowed to rise. Examples of non-natural selection, hiding behind the "natural selection" fallacy: every single game in a casino; McDonald’s "Monopoly" promotion; corporate welfare; sentencing discrepancies between rock and powder cocaine; and the gas station and grocery store game with the stuffed animals and the weak robotic claw. Osmosis – movement of a solvent through a semipermeable membrane (as of a living cell) into a solution of higher solute concentration that tends to equalize the concentrations of solute on the 2 sides of the membrane People often place a book under their pillow while sleeping, hoping to absorb the information in their sleep by "osmosis." We here at theproducesection.com hope to God that osmosis never does occur to any reader who tries this, because the resulting state would be an even concentration of knowledge between the book (very limited, no matter what the subject), the pillow (almost completely non-sentient), and your brain. That’s right, in exchange for 1/3 the knowledge contained in the book, you’d have to give up 2/3 of your ability to cook a perfect omelet and what little German you know. Can you imagine if your marginal guitar ability was reduced by 66%? For goodness sake, if you must try this, at least sleep directly on the book in case the process does actually go some night. Centrifugal force – the force that tends to impel a thing or parts of a thing outward from a center of rotation Centrifugal force has long been blamed for many crushed spleens, hernias, and ruptured spinal discs inflicted by one sibling upon another during tight-radius curves on extended trips in the car. Theproducesection.com wishes to point out, however, that centrifugal force is NOT an irresistible one. The human object subjected to the supposed force has the ability to alter its shape, along with the free will to decide to exert an opposite force to the centrifugal effect, as to prevent the crushing at all. To all: if you begin to be crushed by a fellow passenger who claims inability to act due to centrifugal force, please produce this document and refute them outright.