o p i n i o n s Otter Pie: An Insiders' View Part Two: Early Read-Through By George Eckart Struggling Artist As a confidant and one who is privy to much of the knowledge of Mike Brumm, I feel fairly qualified to speak to you, dear reader, about his upcoming masterpiece: Otter Pie. Since I attended college with him and "knew him when," I feel like I have a unique viewpoint into his genius. I know; with reams and reams of writing about Brumm's work (it pains me to refer to him as "Brumm" it seems so brusquebye and rude and I would never say it to his face) flooding the market, you are saying to yourself "why do I need another essay about Brumm." Well, I have shared many cafe lattes with the man himself and I have insights into Mike Brumm the Playwright that other unnamed writers do not. Last week, I was privy to a super-secret celebrity read-through of Otter Pie. Luminaries and close friends such as Kevin Spacey, Jack Lemmon, Nicole Kidman, and Rosie Grier showed up to support the effort. John Malkovich also stopped by, but not to read. He was hoping that Brumm would let him mount his play to kick-start the Steppenwolf's 2001 season. This group of high-powered thespians was gathered at a cozy coffee shop on Lincoln Avenue called the Java Station (as is Brumm's tradition with his first read-throughs since his first play: Bored Meeting.) The actors were clearly glad to be here with Brumm; each was trading stories and anecdotes. Kevin Spacey was especially ebullient; quipping that he was only here to add more hardware to his trophy case. Brumm smiled slightly, looked at his watch and then said simply, "let's read." The jocularity faded and the actors knew what that look meant: it was time for business. Everyone became quiet with anticipation as Brumm pulled out red paper scripts printed with red ink (in order to prevent duplication and premature distribution.) I later asked Brumm why he did this highly-dramatic gesture and he just looked at me and replied cryptically "just careful I guess." After assigning roles and giving a little establishing information, the reading started. Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the process of creating theatrical art, the first cold-read through is usually a boring, workmanlike affair that consists mostly of the actors highlighting their lines and trying to get pronunciation correct. But, this was no ordinary read through! I sat (and got to read stage directions no less!) and watched Spacey tear into the lines like he did in American Beauty. Jack Lemmon transformed before my eyes from Jack Lemmon into an actual duck hunter. And Rosie Grier inhabited his part of "Football Player" like he'd been one his whole life! But, as any great playwright would tell you, don't talk about what happened: show it! Here's a sample of the reading: DUCK HUNTER #1 [Spacey]: Oh, this cannot be! DUCK HUNTER #2 [Lemmon]: What? What is it? What? FOOTBALL PLAYER [Grier]: (entering, surprised) I brought sandwiches. STAGE DIRECTIONS [myself]: Agog, DUCK HUNTER #1 and DUCK HUNTER #2 look at each other, then back at FOOTBALL PLAYER who is looking at the SANDWICHES. Long Pause. Blackout. Once I finished reading the words "blackout," there was a stunned hush that fell over the readers. Everyone simply looked at each other in silence with eyes that said; "yes, this is the seedling that will blossom into a wonderful piece of theatre." Afterwards, the actors were charged up to be reading such dynamic, vibrant lines. "I am amazed that Brumm asked me to do it," gushed Nicole Kidman, "Although I only had 4 lines and my character is hidden inside a giant lobster suit, I cannot wait until this gets produced. It's really too bad that there is nothing in this work that Tom (Cruise, her husband) could do." Admittedly, I was disappointed everyone had to leave so soon. I was hoping that we could do a quick read-through of my play-in-progress: Savage Rubble. While I am certain it will be no Otter Pie, I was hoping that this great group of thespians could graciously lend me their voices so I could see what parts of my modest script needed work. I do not have the benefit of God-given poetic talent like Mike Brumm, so I have to resort to good old-fashioned elbow grease and hustle to get my play into shape. But, by the time I mustered up the gumption to ask, Brumm and the rest were on their way for dinner at El Famous Burrito. Oh well, maybe next time... But enough about my work, this column is to keep you; gentile reader, abreast of the latest news on all things Brumm. And let me assure you, based on what I have gleaned from this read-through, I have seen the future of playwriting. And it is Otter Pie. George Eckart is currently working on his play "Savage Rubble." He hopes to file his taxes in the year 2003 as a "playwright."