o p i n i o n s The Writing of a Masterpiece Play Part One: Begin The Begin By Mike Brumm Genius Playwright Hello. My name is Mike Brumm and I will be writing a masterpiece. A work of such genius, that I wouldn’t be surprised if the Queen of England begged to have lunch with me. Here’s what would happen on our lunch date… Queen: You are a great writer. Me: I know, now order me a dinner salad. I know I am a great writer. I don’t have to be told that by some common Queen! Anyway, in the upcoming weeks, you will see my work unfold. You will experience my words as they are written. You will sink your teeth into my meaty, genius brain. The title of this masterpiece is enough to knock any man over – even if that man is over eight feet tall and weighs 500 pounds. Of course, I don’t know of too many men that fit this bill, but I assure you they would be knocked over by the title of this work. I will call my masterpiece… "OTTER PIE." No, no, no, don’t speak. Just let those words sink into your palette like some fine Chardonnay after a helping of couscous. This literary masterpiece will follow the exploits of two duck hunters and an evil track team. Oh, what a mighty plot! Oh, what a mighty title! I feel so mighty, I could wrestle a bear. Here’s what would happen if I wrestled a bear… Me: Bear, you will bow down and obey me! Bear: Okay. Granted, I know a bear can’t talk, but the point is I would defeat it hands down. Now, please, I need silence, for I am about to write the opening lines to my masterpiece. Yes, these next few words will shape my play. The will act as the reigns to my literary stagecoach. Here they are… MAN 1: You want some soup? MAN 2: No. Oh, glory be! The first two lines to my masterpiece! Oh, just let the words roll of your tongue. Embrace them and hold them close to your bosom. Let them have their way with you. Oh, I can barely breathe. Somebody open a window. I have managed to capture the essence of these two characters in only the first two lines. Already we know that man one loves soup and that man two is not too crazy about soup. Genius! Oh, I grow weary. It’s not easy being a playwright. Okay, I must rest, but stay tuned in the upcoming weeks as this work unfolds, blooms if you will, into the masterpiece it is destined to become. I bid you goodnight. Mike Brumm Genius Playwright Mike Brumm plays include "Snakes, Get Em Out" and "Temporary Champions" .