o p i n i o n s An Open Letter To The Management Team Of The San Jose YMCA By Wanda Bobrowicz Dear Humans, It is with great perturbation and a heavy heart that I am forced to compose this epistle. But after wading through great pools of betrayal and consternation, I have decided to maintain a courteous, professional tone while relating what I feel to be the heinous acts of a deranged and power-hungry madwoman. The woman to whom I refer is one Helen Bluthe. As I am sure you know, she occupies an office in your facility, and she does so under the guise of “serving” as activites coordinator. What I’m sure you don’t realize is that she is using this position as a kind of bully-pulpit to befoul the spirit of the YMCA!! It was with the BEST of intentions that I first joined your facility some 6 months ago. I was hesitant to join, as I would be a considered a Christian under only the most liberal definitions of that term. I was baptized Episcopalian, but have since branched off into the study of Taoism, (light) Zen Buddhism, EST, African dance and I once dated a Muslim fellow. I am a student of the world!!! While I grew to enjoy the pool and stretching room facilities, it was not until I wandered into a Chi Gong class taught by Julie Hogan that I felt like the Y was for me! Julie is a masterful teacher, whose grace and elegance flow as easily as a water through a big spigot. In the short time I have studied under Master (Mistress?!) Hogan, I have FELT my energy field expand, and my chakras have begun to align themselves in a way I have only read about on self-help tapes. Now I do not dispute that our class was small. Some days I was the only student in attendance. But does size MATTER????? Did not Jesus himself tell a parable about a mustard seed? Wasn’t it small as well? But as I say, I do not contest that for “economic” reasons, it may have been necessary to cancel the class. That’s fine fine fine fine fine. Nor do I protest that the class is being replaced with a Yoga class taught by that fake woman with the hillbilly way of talking, who once tried to substitute teach our Chi Gong class when Julie got sick, and didn’t even know how to do “Elephant Raises His Trunk.” Which is sooooo easy. Even I know it! No, what I protest is the petty, hateful treatment I was offered by Miss Helen Bluthe. See, Julie and I had an AGREEMENT, whereby Julie would CALL ME if she (Julie) offered a Chi Gong class for free Saturday mornings in the park. I gave her my NUMBER, and I am SURE I wrote it incorrectly, because SHE HASN’T CALLED ME AT ALL. Naturally, I want to call Julie to CORRECT this error. Julie WOULD HAVE given me her number, but she was having PHONE PROBLEMS when I asked her for it, so her number was changing, she said. It happens!!!!!!! After three weeks without a phone call, and after waiting in front of the YMCA every day to see if Julie would come by, I knew I would have to contact her myself. So I asked Miss Helen Bluthe, politely mind you, if I could have her (Julie’s) number. I EXPLAINED THE WHOLE STORY TO MISS BLUTHE AND RELIED ON HER SENSE OF CHRISTIAN DECENCY TO GIVE ME JULIE’S NUMBER. She refused and refused and refused, citing “YMCA POLICY,” which must be a dated dogma based on some old testament gobbledy-gook. Surely Christ’s energy, (like Buddha’s, Mohammed’s, or Lao-Tzo’s!!) did not come into the universe to teach us all to follow rigid rules dictated by a frickin’ sadistic old shrew who enjoys lording things over you!!!! In addition, she (Helen) lied to police, and told them I attacked her. I DID NOT. I merely was trying to get her to “see the light” by opening her third eye -- which is located on the forehead -- with positive Chi from my fingertips. She is so wound up with negative energy flow, that she mistook my effort to HELP her for an assault. (If I WANTED to hurt Miss Bluthe, for the record, I would have done much worse to her energy flow, I can assure you!) I am sure once you read this letter and feel the truth of my words, you will want to rectify the whole situation. This can be done by the following corrective actions: The immediate dismissal of Ms. Helen Bluthe. The immediate re-instatement of Miss Julie Hogan’s Chi Gong class. The re-assignment of Hillbilly Yoga to it’s former 6:30 AM Thursday timeslot. Your consideration in waiving the “no incense” policy. Smells get you in the moment! I know better than to ask for an apology from Miss Bluthe; it will probably be several more lifetimes before her soul becomes concious of the pain it causes others. And I would ask you to pro-rate my membership for January classes missed, but give unto Caeser all the money’s what I say!!!!!! Anxiously awaiting your reply, Wanda Bobrowicz Human & San Jose YMCA Member