L e t t e r s Letters BCC'ed to the Produce Section

For various reasons, the Produce Section recieves copies of many different emails sent to companies, government organizations, and civillians. Here's one we recieved this month: Sara Lee Bakery Chicago, IL Marketing Department To Whom It May Concern: First, let me say I’m a big fan of the cakes and pastries Ms. Lee has graced us with over the years. I own a vineyard in Washington State, and let me tell you, nothing beats coming home to a thick slice of your Strawberry Swirl Pound Cake after a day in the icy rain picking grapes and crushing them! Honestly, sometimes I think it’s the only thing that keeps me going sometimes! And don’t get me started on your Butter Streussel Pound Cake. I take that back! I’d love to get started on one right now!! But I didn’t write only to gush. I would like to talk to you about your advertising slogan. For years I thought the tag line to your commercials was "Nobody Does It Like Sara Lee." The slogan was "to the point," and furthermore, true! (Have you heard of "Sweet-n-Fresh"? It’s a store brand they sell at the Schwartz’s Food Mart in Tacoma. I tried their pound cake once, and it was like compost in my mouth. I couldn’t get through a whole slice. So you see my point.) The other day my neighbor Julie mentioned that your slogan was actually "Nobody Doesn’t Like Sara Lee." I laughed in her face, but doubt consumed me until I studied your packaging. Sure enough! You’re using a double negative! Grammatically, it works, because you’re saying that there is nobody who does not like Sara Lee products. But is it wise to play so fast and loose with the language, in this age of lackadaisical speech? Some of the teenagers I regularly chase off my property toss double negatives around with zeal! The next generation of consumers may think you’re badmouthing your own brand! "Ain’t nobody don’t like no Sara Lee," I can hear them say disdainfully between puffs on cigarettes. It’s not really my place, but I thought I would bounce some new slogans off you. No payment would be required, though I would not turn down a Crumb Coffee Cake! Yum! Here are my suggestions: 1) "Nobody Fails to Like Sara Lee." This one is an almost identical message, but without the sloppy double negative! It also fits neatly into your current jingle; the right syllables are all accented. So no need to hire a new composer! On the down side, it is a little formal. And I would understand if you don’t want the word "fail" in your advertising slogan. 2) "You Don’t Like Sara Lee? I’m Not Sure I Believe You." This one is really fun. It gently teases the consumer, and it’s personally engaging. An individual is addressed, rather than the whole population in a blanket statement. However, some of your elderly consumers may find it a bit confrontational. 3) "Evelyn Grisham Likes Sara Lee." Sure, maybe not everyone knows who I am! But I guarantee the slogan would be 100% true! And you could even use me in your commercials! Or maybe just an actress playing me. She could be your new advertising mascot! I would suggest Helen Hunt or Susan Lucci. Well, there they are! I hope I’m not offending you by writing this letter. But I saw a problem, and I had to attack it! Call it the old Pacific Northwest Vineyard Can-Do Attitude! And to reiterate, I seek no compensation. It will be enough to know I’m making a difference. Thanks a bunch!! Evelyn Grisham