p u b l i c s e r v i c e Half-Truth in Advertising As a public service, theproducesection.com presents a list of misleading labels and signs you may encounter every day. This is a more accurate label. MADE IN USA Nine times out of ten, this label refers to Usa, Japan. Usa is a small but highly productive town where many toy manufacturers, tailors, and makers of plastic goods run successful businesses on the labor of young Asian children. NOT FROM CONCENTRATE If you see this label on a container of orange juice, there's a good chance it refers to Concentrate, Florida. Concentrate is known for its flavorful, luscious oranges, the juice of which is said to be heavenly. Only the very rich have ever tasted their sweet nectar. You probably never will. BARELY LEGAL Americans spend millions of dollars annually on memberships to web sites that contain the above disclaimer, in the hopes of finding teen flesh to ogle. But the vast majority of the sites offer little more than advice on parking in loading zones, tips on skipping jury duty, and minor loopholes in the tax laws. PED XING Many misinterpret this sign, seen along roads all over the country, to mean "pedestrian crossing." In reality, the ped xing is a highly aggressive carnivorous reptile, a distant relative of the American alligator. As a species, they have developed a taste for human flesh, and thousands of people fall pray to them per year. If more citizens knew the true meaning of this sign, there would be few drivers along those roads, to say nothing of pedestrians. EXPLICIT LYRICS This label on an album cover titillates with promises of violence and vulgarity. In actuality, the lyrics in question are merely ham-fisted, and lack the subtlety required to be truly poetic.   -The Produce Section