g r a v ea d v i c e No Promotion For Promoter This week's guest columnist: Poet Walt Whitman (1819-1892) Dear Grave Advice, I am a hard-working marketing promotion coordinator for a major on-line retailer. I have been in the same position for over three years, with little more than a cost-of-living adjustment to my already meager salary. Recently, a management position opened for which I was clearly the best candidate, but the position was given to someone less qualified who happens to be dating our V.P. of Finance! Do I have grounds for a lawsuit? Do men ever win these types of cases? - Disgruntled in Denver Dear Disgruntled in Denver, Walk with me, Camerado, And take my hand. Feel the dry bones, once meaty palms, As we venture into sunlight And bare all our souls will bare. Look you to the mighty Colorado Hear her (she seems to sing) “I flow like an artery Through the body of America.” O the joy she must know. Frolic on, O river! Come -- let us lie by her banks, And meditate upon the current. She plays her role masterfully, In a great play known as the irrigation system. She gives of herself, As I give you myself, Comrade. She gives every drop, knowing not from whence New drops will come to take their place. Is it not the same with your current salary situation? Feel the wind, which would pull at my beard Were it still attached to my skeletal face. Be there any need in your heart That its gentle touch wafts not away? Who hears my lesson? Whether Farmer or Sailor or Banker or Lumberjack, Or Housewife or Harlot or Princess or School M’arm Or Marketing Promotion Coordinator or Vice-President of Finance, I love you all infinitely well As I love the Sea and Stars and Geese and Frogs and Democracy and Truth! Be they all my God. Confidential to Unfaithful in Florida: Open your gargantuan throat, And taste the honey of sweat and tears. Moonbeams tickle the lillies. O Life!    Walt Whitman is Roberto Bernini's favorite poet.